What I've learned in my first year as a mom

I laid in bed last night thinking about the past year of my life. I think for any woman, the first year as a mom is probably the greatest change in your life you could possibly have. I got to thinking about all the things that I've learned, all the things that have changed, and I was surprised to realize how much of it wasn't baby related. So many things about my life are completely different than they were a little over a year ago. I thought I'd take the time to write them down so I can look back at this time and show Farrah how much she's changed us for the better. Here they are... some are on the serious side and some sound a bit silly, but they are true just the same:

• The first few weeks seem like they will never end. I won't lie, I was pretty miserable at first. I was so tired, nervous, overwhelmed, and emotional. I didn't think it could get more difficult than those first few weeks. What I've come to realize as time has gone on, is it only gets more challenging, but that you are more prepared. While the getting up every couple hours may be over, I now am dealing with teething, and tantrums and watching her every second to make sure she doesn't put something in her mouth or get into something she shouldn't. The majority of my stress from those first few weeks was just in not knowing. I think with the next baby those first few weeks will be slightly (only slightly) less stressful.
• Friends are more important now than ever. Yes, it might be a little more difficult to find the time or the energy to get out of your door past 7pm to go have dinner and drinks with your best girlfriends, it's also more necessary for my own sanity now more than ever. I realize now how important it is to maintain those relationships and I also realize the difference between a true friend and an acquaintance. True friends I have time for, acquaintances not so much.
• Before Farrah, I hated it when people would say "when you have kids, you'll understand." I hated that people would think I was just this silly naive lady who was clueless because she didn't have kids. While I still won't ever say that to someone without kids, I now see what they meant by that. Abe and I still ask ourselves what the heck we did with our time before we had a kid.
  
• The best baby toys aren't actual toys... they're boxes, remotes, dvds, pretty much anything they're not supposed to play with. Don't waste too much money on toys.
  
• EVERYTHING is a phase. Doesn't matter if it's good or bad. She loves her bath one week, hates it the next. Loves her baby Einstein DVD one week, hates it the next. Gets up at 2am on the dot for no apparent reason 10 days in a row, and on day 11 is back to her usual routine. Now that's she's started with the tantrums, I close my eyes, breathe deep and say to myself "this is just a phase, this is just a phase." (Even though I know this one might last a little longer.) The faster you can learn this as a new mom the better.
• A new level of empathy. That mom in the store whose kid is throwing a tantrum and she yells at the kid?... probably not a bad mom just having a bad moment. Someone can't make it to a special event because they're super busy?... don't take it personally, they probably are very busy and I know what that's like.
  
• Getting out of the house is vital to my sanity. I used to think I was a homebody but if I don't get out of the house for a couple hours before Farrah's nap and a couple hours after her nap, I might go insane. I'm the first to admit I've carried her around Babys R Us playing with the toys in each aisle and then leaving having bought nothing. You can steal that idea, I won't mind ;)
• I've definitely developed a whole new level of respect for my husband. Our relationship is completely different than it was a little over a year ago and that's a good thing. I can certainly see how having a child can strain a relationship but I can also see how with the right 2 people it can strengthen their relationship. I'm proud that I'm part of the lucky few whose relationships have strengthened in this past year and although it hasn't been easy, it has been a lot of fun.
• The biggest thing I've learned this year is how strong I am as a person. Me, as a person. Not Abe and I, not me the mom, not me the businesswoman, but me, the person. There's something about this little face looking up at you that is counting on you, that makes you get yourself together when you don't feel like it and do what ya gotta do to make a life for her and for your family. Multi-tasking is my middle name ;) But I'm learning now that while there's a time for multi-tasking (ok well a lot of time), there's also a time for unwinding and doing, well, nothing. I learned that lesson the hard way. It's not easy being a stay at home mom, and a working mom wrapped up into one. Oh yeah and there's that husband of mine and that house that needs my attention too. :)
  

By far the most challenging and rewarding year of my life wrapped up into one cute, pint sized, brown eyed package. I'm as ready as I'll ever be for the toddler years. I hope I can have as many good things to say about them when I'm done with that phase as I have for this last year. Something tells me it's going to be an interesting ride.