Vows

This past weekend we attended my cousin's wedding.  It was a beautiful outdoor wedding in the Napa Valley in the middle of a vineyard.  As we sat listening to the happy couple recite their vows, surrounded by millions of grapes and lots of couples who had recited similar vows on their own special days, I couldn't help but squeeze Abe's hand just a little tighter.  We've all heard that we're supposed to love each other for better or worse, in sickness and in health, and so on and so forth.  I wonder what most people think of when they get to that part.  I'll be the first to admit that I was pretty naïve when I thought about what obstacles we may have to overcome.  I expected the standard financial struggles, job changes and moves.  We're good people.  I guess I didn't think about really bad things happening.  Those types of things don't happen to people like us. 
We woke up in the middle of the night when the big earthquake hit.  Our hotel room was shaking all around but thankfully there was no damage.  We went back to sleep and woke up the next morning to learn of some of the devastating damage in many parts of Napa.  Some people lost their homes and everything in it.  Others were critically injured.  For better or for worse.  Vows put to the test. 
I hope that we've had to deal with the worst of it.  But I also know we're only barely 30 and hopefully have a lot of life left.  Our vows have certainly been tested.  Not just the grief of losing a child, but both of our post traumatic stress demons we carry after finding our son the way we did.  I wouldn't blame him for taking it out on me and I'm sure he wouldn't either.  But we're coming up on a year since it happened and, so far, I can say we have loved each other for worse... there hasn't been much better. 

Our son Evan will be here in less than 2 months and we'll embark on the stressful journey of a newborn.  In my previous life, I categorized that under the "for worse" part of marriage.  Lack of sleep, crying (mostly the baby but sometimes me when I don't get sleep), and the tendency to snap at your partner.  But in my new life I'm considering this to be a "for better" part.  I'll just squeeze Abe's hand a little tighter and keep on going, for better or for worse.