Rough patch

We've been going through some interesting (to put it kindly) times with Farrah.  She is one of the sweetest, most intelligent, caring little 2 year olds I've ever seen, but recently she's really kicked up her terrible twos a notch or 2 (or 10).  She will be fine one second, then for no reason at all, be throwing a tantrum.  Sometimes ignoring works, sometimes it doesn't.  Sometimes time outs work, sometimes they don't.  I can handle the tantrums for the most part, but what I'm having the most difficulty with is how she's been treating her daddy.  This phase has gone on for at least a month now, where she is latching on to me really tight and just being down right mean to my poor hubby. 
Common phrases I've been hearing from Farrah are as follows:
"No daddy, I want mommy!"  "Daddy, go to work!" "Daddy, leave me alone!", and "No, mommy do it!" (anytime daddy tries to do anything with her.  It breaks my heart.  I can't imagine how hard it is for him to hear those things.  It may have something to do with the new baby on the way, not sure.  All I know is I'm over it.  I repeatedly tell her it's not ok to talk to daddy that way.  I tell her I'll ignore her until she says sorry to daddy and starts behaving. Nothing seems to be getting through to her though.  Anyone else gone through this?  I'm trying to not get frustrated, but it's hard when nothing I do seems to work and we are still in the thick of this phase and it seems like there's no end in sight.
I remember when I used to babysit several years ago for a 2 year old girl and a 4 year old boy.  The girl was always sweet except when it came time for her mommy to leave.  She would start screaming and would hit me and scratch me as her mommy walked out the door.  Yikes!  I always thought something was wrong with the kid.  And the boy... double yikes!  I didn't watch him as often because he was in preschool but he would get mean with his tantrums and the final straw was when we were outside playing and I told him it was time to come back inside and he refused and threw a tantrum.  When I went to put him on the stair for a timeout he spit on me.  I quit that day.  Too much for me I guess.  Now here I am with my own toddler and while thankfully she's no where near that bad, I do have more sympathy for that mom.  It's easy to just put the kids into the category of brats and the mom into the category of bad mom, but at the end of the day, I would say most moms want the best for their kids and want them to be polite, contributing members of society, and are doing the best they can.  They are, in fact, raising toddlers.  If we survive we should all applaud each other for making it through. 

Better late than never

Hi folks... remember me?  That preggo with the cute daughter?  Yeah I'm back.  It's been too long.  I know I complained  explained in my last blog post that June's very busy for both my husband and I.  Well we're now approaching the end of July so what's my excuse?  A lot has happened.  And frankly, I have technically had the time to write an entry or two over the last month and a half, I just haven't had the desire or inspiration for what to write.  Which is strange for me because so much has happened that I have plenty to write about. 
So now I have the task of getting you caught up to speed without making this post ridiculously long.
Where to begin, where to begin?  Well June is over (thankfully) and July has been a bit slower for my husband's work so I've been able to see him most Sundays which is good.  We've done a couple quick day trips to kiddie parks and things like that, so while we're not able to take a vacation, we've been making more of an effort to use the time we have to make good memories.  Especially with the new baby on the way, I know my time with just the 3 of us is limited.  It's also caused me to take lots more pictures.  That and my husband got me a nicer camera for my birthday so I can actually take decent pictures instead of using my crappy point and shoot with the broken zoom. 
Oh yeah and then there was the big ultrasound.  We went in last week to find out what we were having.  Oh and check on the baby and all that stuff.  I forget that's why the Doctor's want to do that ultrasound, not to tell me if we're on team pink or blue.  It took forever this time.  I don't remember it being that way with Farrah.  Last time she pretty much asked us right away if we wanted to know the sex and then told us it was a girl within 5 minutes of me laying on the table.  This time 45 agonizing minutes went by as she measured and typed, and measured and typed, without saying much at all.  I was actually a little nervous.  She was having a hard time getting a good picture of the heart, but after having me get up and go pee she was able to get a good shot.  After all that she asked us if we wanted to know and we practically screamed "YES!" and she said "Ok well let me see...."  All that and you still hadn't gotten a look at the goods?  Turns out baby's legs were crossed and tucked in.  Not exactly easy to figure this out.  She had me turn several times and finally she was able to get one shot and said "Looks like it's a boy!"  I'm still not 100% so I'm going to do a 3D ultrasound to find out for sure since it was only 1 shot that she was able to get and this mama needs to know for sure but it did make me smile to think I may have a son on the way. 
Other big news from the ultrasound.  Turns out I have placenta previa.  A condition in which the placenta implants low and mine happens to be completely covering the cervix.  After hearing from my Dr. about it and reading online here's what it means.  I have to be extremely careful for the remainder of the pregnancy and if it doesn't move back up on it's own, I will have to have a C-section.  No heavy lifting, no exercising, no nookie (my poor husband), and just all around take it easy.  No heavy lifting?  Ummmm I have a toddler.... who's heavy.  So I'm learning to rely on other people's help, especially my wonderful husband.  I can't have this baby come early and I don't want to end up on bedrest because then I'll really be unable to contribute so I'm taking the Dr.'s advice and taking it easy. 

I'm supposed to be heading to Dallas in a week for my annual Mary Kay seminar.  I'm waiting to hear from the Dr. if I can still fly.  If not I don't know what I'll do.  I would hate to miss this event!  But obviously not willing to risk my health or the health of the baby.  We'll see! 

That's all I have to update you on for now.  More to come I'm sure!  And I'll try not to go another month and a half before posting again!

The Weekend

I was having a conversation with my hubby the other day about the weekend.  You see to us, it's pretty insignificant.  It's always funny when I'm on facebook on Fridays and people keep posting about how excited they are that it's Friday.  Most of the time it reminds me what day of the week because I don't usually remember what day it is.  Both Abe and I have interesting schedules.  He works for a DJ and entertainment company as a manager.  Sometimes he'll DJ too.  He works 6-7 days a week.  Every Saturday.... EVERY SATURDAY.  Sometimes I get tempted to complain.  During the summer especially.  When everyone's getting married, I'm typically at home alone on a Saturday night and often on Sundays too.  It would be easy to complain.  But then there's my husband... the one who has to actually work those hours and he's not complaining.  So I bite my tongue if I get frustrated and tempted to whine about missing him and I thank my lucky stars that I have a man that works as hard as he does, not only at work but at home. 
Then there's my job.  The ultimate in flexibility because I choose my own hours.  But with that, often comes working during the few hours per week that my husband is home.  Evenings, Sundays, whatever I have to do.  No complaints on that one.  I know the alternative means I don't get the privilege of being a stay at home mom.  Wouldn't trade that for the world. 
I dream about a time when we can just have time off and just be together as a family.  When we do get those moments I cherish them.  Summer vacations aren't really an option because it's busy season for both of us, but I'm looking forward to creating a tradition of winter vacations.  I think we all have ideas about how we'd like our family lives to be, and then reality sinks in and you work with what you've got.  I thank my lucky stars that I don't have a husband in the military that's gone for long periods of time, or even a single mom.  I don't know how you folks do it.  I really don't.
June is the busiest month for my business and for DJ's happens to be their biggest month too (thanks to all you June brides :) and the other day we were having a crazy day.  I guess pretty much every day is crazy but this one happened to be particularly crazy with our schedules combined with a dog that got sprayed by a skunk and ran in the house, stinking up our house for a week, and a cat that was vomiting in the middle of the night.  We had to laugh about it.  What else can you do.  And the next morning my husband posted a link to the music video "Just another day in paradise" by Phil Vassar on my facebook wall.  That's truly how it feels sometimes.  My comment to him was "If we can get through June every year, we can get through anything."  We're over halfway through June!  Pray for me!

Just Another Day in Paradise

The kids screaming, phone ringing
Dog barking at the mailman bringing
That stack of bills - overdue
Good morning baby, how are you?
Got a half hour, quick shower
Take a drink of milk but the milk's gone sour
My funny face makes you laugh
Twist the top on and I put it back
There goes the washing machine
Baby, don't kick it.
I promise I'll fix it
Long about a million other things

Well, it's ok. It's so nice
It's just another day in paradise
Well, there's no place that
I'd rather be
Well, it's two hearts
And one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything
And I ask the lord every night
For just another day in paradise

Friday, you're late
Guess we'll never make our dinner date
At the restaurant you start to cry
Baby, we'll just improvise
Well, plan B looks like
Dominoes' pizza in the candle light
Then we'll tippy toe to our room
Make a little love that's overdue
But somebody had a bad dream
Mama and daddy
Can me and my teddy
Come in to sleep in between?

Yeah it's ok. It's so nice.
It's just another day in paradise.
Well, there's no place that
I'd rather be
Well, it's two hearts
And one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything
And I ask the lord every night
For just another day in paradise

Well, it's ok. It's so nice.
It's just another day in paradise.
Well, there's no place that
I'd rather be
Two hearts
And one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything
And I ask the lord every night
For just another day in paradise

For just another day in paradise
Well, it's the kids screaming. The phone ringing
Just another day
Well, it's Friday. You're late
Oh yeah, it's just another day in paradise

15 weeks!

• How far along?  15 weeks exactly. 

• How big is baby? According to thebump.com 4 inches, 2.5oz, around the size of an orange now.

• Total weight gain: Just had another Dr.'s appt today and I'm still down.  Down even more since last time which is strange because I haven't been sick since a couple weeks before the last appt so I'm not sure why I'm still losing.  I'll take it though!  Gained way to much with the last one and so far I'm about 10 lbs down.  

• Maternity clothes? Still not necessary.  I can do the good ol' hair band trick with my regular pants and some of them still button.  Maybe I'll pop soon :)

• Stretch marks? Thanks to my first pregnancy I have tons on my stomach so it's hard to say what's old and what's new.  At this point I don't even care.  I've resigned myself to a life of one-piece swimsuits anyways.

• Sleep: Sleeping pretty well.  I still have to get up to pee at least once or twice per night.  That and my mid afternoon nap that is almost unavoidable because my eyes literally won't stay open. 

• Best moment this week:  Hearing baby's heartbeat today.  Since I'm still pretty tiny and haven't had to many symptoms I have to admit I was a bit nervous.  I was holding my breath until I heard that heartbeat beating strong. 

• Miss Anything? Caffeine.  I do indulge from time to time but I didn't realize what a difference daily caffeine did for my energy level until I quit cold turkey. 

• Movement:I feel little flutters from time to time.  I don't think I'd know that's what it is if I hadn't experienced it before.  Love that feeling. 

• Food cravings: Taco bell bean and cheese burrito with a side of nacho cheese to dip it in.  Absolutely gross I know but for some reason last time and this time I'm drawn to that.  I've only indulged a few times though.  Otherwise I don't think I'd be able to say I was still down in my weight.  I haven't been craving sweets as much which is very unlike me.  Maybe that means it's a boy :)

• Food aversions: Lots of vegetables.  I know I should eat lots of them but it's hard.  I'm not a big vegetable person anyways so add pregnancy on top of that and it's even worse.  The other day my husband made Kale chips (at my request).  It was only the 2nd time I had them and did ok the first time.  As soon as I ate 1 chip I had to get up and sprint to the bathroom in time to puke.  That was my first time puking this whole pregnancy and I think it had to be the Kale!

• Gender: July 17th we'll find out!  Everyone keeps saying boy... which probably means it's a girl ;)

• Labor Signs: Ummm no. 

• Symptoms: Like I said, not much other than the tiredness.  I think I'm too busy with a toddler to notice I'm pregnant half the time.

• Belly Button in or out? In.  Never went out with the first one but we'll see.

• Wedding rings on or off? On.  I hope it stays that way.  I had to take them off halfway through the last pregnancy and it took me over a year to get one of them on and another year to get the other one on.  

• Looking forward to:  finding out if it's a boy or a girl.  My heart says boy but we'll be happy with whatever we get. 

• Milestones/what's going on inside:  Baby's busy moving amniotic fluid through its nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in the lungs begin to develop. The legs are growing longer than her arms now, and baby can move all of her joints and limbs. Although the eyelids are still fused shut, they can sense light. There's not much for baby to taste at this point, but taste buds are forming. Finally, if I were to have an ultrasound this week, you may be able to find out whether your baby's a boy or a girl! I wish!  Have to wait over a month... hopefully it goes by quickly!

Farrahisms

This age has been a wonderful age.  Wonderfully challenging at times and other times just wonderful.  2 1/2 has been an age that has pushed my limits, tested my patience and definitely melted my heart.  This blog serves a bigger purpose than just an outlet for me, but also to write down things that I'm sure I'll remember at the time but likely won't in 5, 10 or 15 years.  It's hard to believe I could ever forget these Farrahisms but I'm sure the day will come when all of these things are a faint memory.
So here are some more Farrahisms... 2 1/2 year old edition
-She still loves Dora, although Dora has recently taken a back seat to Max and Ruby.  Not sure what the appeal is.  There's not much educational about it either so I'm hesitant to let her watch too much of it but she thinks it's the funniest thing.  If an episode comes on that she recognizes and likes she'll say in her little, tiny voice "Oh I like that one!"
-She still loves the color purple.  Her big girl room has stripes on one wall with 2 different shades of purple and the rest of the walls are all solid purple.  Her bedding she picked out is primarily purple as well.  I've never met a kid that was drawn to one color so much, especially from such a young age. She plays a game called team umizoomi on my IPAD and when her favorite character is holding the purple balloons she gets excited.  When someone else is holding the purple ones she gets upset... that's how hard core she is about her purple.
-She comes up with the funniest phrases.  Some of the most notable are:
"No make it." When referring to eating a meal.  She doesn't want us to cook it.  She just wants it to appear.  Not sure where she thinks it's going to magically appear from, but sometimes she gets upset when she even sees us taking the pots and pans out.
"It's no big deal." She mostly uses this one when she drops food on the floor.  I think I said it one time and ever since then when she drops something she says it's no big deal because the dog will eat it. I guess she's kind of right.
"I'll be right back."  This is a newer one.  I died yesterday when I was trying to get her in her carseat and she kept leaning over the side to reach for something and she said "Hold on I get something... I be right back."  Kid cracks me up!
"It's going to be ok mommy."  Usually said with her arms wrapped around my neck.  This one always melts my heart.  If she senses I'm stressed or upset she'll walk behind me, wrap her little arms around my neck and tell me it's going to be ok.  Even from a young age she knows how to be a caring person.  I just love her.
"Foo me."  Her version of "excuse me" after she toots.  One of my personal faves.

I could go on and on about all of her little things that make her her.  She is very different from both her dad and I.  We are both pretty mellow.  Who am I kidding Abe is pretty mellow and I'm semi-mellow.... much more mellow than Farrah at least.  How 2 pseudo-mellow people created  the opposite of a mellow child I'll never know but I do often think about which of these characteristics of hers will carry over into her adult life, and I can't think of one that won't make her stronger as an adult.  She doesn't take anything from anybody, she knows what she wants and she also knows how to love.  She's a lover, that girl.  I like to think she gets so frustrated at times because she loves so hard.  If I could bottle her up at this age and hang on to it all I would.  For now the blog will do.  I'll get to work on that invention though :)

Baby #2

This pregnancy has been way different than the first one.  The first time around I never forgot I was pregnant.  It was such a big deal in my mind (I know this baby is too but you know what I mean) that I couldn't possibly forget but this time I find myself going all day without remembering that I have a wee babe inside of my belly.  I'm sure as my belly grows it will be hard for me to forget but for now I'm so busy with Farrah that baby dos seems to slip my mind.  Usually when I remember is early afternoon when I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open.  It's really not fair that preggos who are tired aren't supposed to have caffeine.  This is when I need it most. 
I'm hoping that this pregnancy will go by much faster because it's not on my mind as much.  So far it has.  It seemed like forever to find out the sex of the baby last time and it really hasn't been that bad waiting this time.  In a little over a month we'll know if we're having another sweet girl or handsome little man.  So far most votes seem to be for team blue.  We shall see.  Farrah is girl enough for me and if I never have another girl again I know I got one of the girliest girls out there so I'm good. 
I used to watch the show Baby Story on TLC and whenever I would see moms of one child getting ready to have another child they would always get very emotional going to the hospital.  They would be worried about their first baby and how they were going to possibly handle a second baby without their first feeling left out.  I would watch with a little bit of judgement about their reactions... how silly is that?  And yet, here I am, facing the same situation and I have the same worries.  If it weren't for finances, I think we would have tried for another baby much sooner, and now I am so glad with the way things worked out.  I've been able to enjoy my time with Farrah so much.  I know many people have babies back to back and are happy with that, and I believe if that's what we had done I would have been too, but now when I look at Farrah and the fun we have together, I think about having another baby competing for my attention and I get nervous.  Mommy problems. 
I wonder what the baby will be like, how he or she will change the dynamics of our family, and how Farrah will deal with the change.  I guess I won't know until the time comes.  For now I'll continue to enjoy my time with Farrah.  6 months to go until this house gets turned upside down again. 

This parenting thing

These past couple weeks have been interesting to say the least.  I think God was trying to knock me down a peg or two because I was talking to my husband about how I finally felt like I had started to get the hang of this parenting thing.  I was in a good place.  My normally easily stressed out self seemed to have calmed down quite a bit.  I didn't get worked up with the small stuff.  We had a good routine going.  All that good stuff.  And with that came 2 weeks of the exact opposite.  I'm going to blame it on the pregnancy hormones.... that and my proclaiming I'm an awesome parent.... God had to make sure I knew who was really in control.  I don't know why it happened.  I can't even really put my finger on it.  Farrah has stopped napping again so I know that has a lot to do with it.  That 1 1/2 hours a day that I can work, clean, or just plain veg on the couch is my sanity and allows me to gear up for the rest of the day so when I don't get that time mama gets a bit cranky.
My best friend was over the other night and we were watching the Bachelorette... side note, am I the only one that thinks this season is rather boring? Anyways, she was over and I was telling her about the craziness that was my day and my complete impatience for my poor toddler that was doing nothing other than being a toddler and because of my exhaustion I couldn't deal.  She was laughing as I was telling her my story and then I started laughing when I realized the sheer ridiculousness of it all.  My mental state became even more apparent while she was there and my pets were driving me crazy.  My dog wouldn't stop licking the couch, even as I'm pulling him off the couch he's still licking it.  My cats won't go in the garage which is where they get locked up at night so they don't wake us and the baby as they chase each other around all night.  And in the midst of this craziness I look over to see my friend just cracking up.  It was then I realized.... why wouldn't I be a little crazy... my life is crazy! 

I know with 2 instead of 1, it's only going to get more crazy, but my hope is that my patience will grow.  My parenting failures of the past 2 weeks have reminded me that I will never really have this parenting thing down.  At the end of the day, I'm not perfect, my beautiful child is not perfect, my life is definitely not perfect.  Sometimes I consider it a win that everyone survived the day.  And while it's my goal to make memories with Farrah that she will always remember of a great childhood with a mom who was always on top of her game, I have to be ok with  those days when we just survive.  In the end I love her more than anything, I love my husband more today than when I married him, we're all safe, healthy and we are all happy.