It's crazy to me to think that in 10 years I will have a child in high school.  I wish when I was in high school I had half the confidence that my 4 year old does.  I just pray that she hangs on to it and doesn't let the world change her. I mean the girl can rock a pair of my 4 inch heels like it's nothing.   

Yesterday I witnessed something that made me very sad.  I was going with Farrah to get starbucks and drove to the one closest to us that happens to be close to the high school near our house.  I didn't even realize what time it was until I got over there and saw all the crowds of kids hanging out in the shopping center.  3:05pm.  Ughhh.... why did I come to this starbucks?  I know how disrespectful high school kids can be and I just figured I would have to deal with trying to navigate my car through a crowded parking lot with kids who didn't care to get out of the way of cars.  But what I witnessed was beyond what I could have expected.  There were about 4 cop cars in the parking lot just watching the kids, telling them to move it along, go home, get out of the way of the cars coming at them (like seriously, how arrogant can they be that a car is coming towards them and they still don't move because they just assume we'll see them and stop for them.) 

 I pulled up to the starbucks drive thru window and when the windows opened I heard shouting inside.  I guess some  kids were causing a scene inside and they were yelling at the people working there.  The employees were shouting back that the cops were on the way and they needed to leave.  I asked the girl if it was normal for it to be this crazy at this time and she said it's always crazy but this week in particular because the day before there was a fight at the McDonald's next door so they had lots of police here to try and avoid more problems.  I looked up to see two teenage girls spouting off at the mouth to the police officers, refusing to move.  After much push back the cops finally decided to arrest them.  I'm shaking my head thinking about if I ever saw my child speak to anyone like that let alone a cop, she would have bigger problems than jail.  

I paid for my coffee, and as I started to drive away the Starbucks girl yelled "good luck!" as I drove away.  I slowly crept forward, locked our doors and prayed I could find the quickest way to get out of this situation.  I slowly navigated my way through the crowd and tried to get to the parking lot exit furthest from the crowd.  As I was making my way out I saw a fight break out on the other side of the parking lot and to my surprise it was two girls flinging each other around by the hair.  I couldn't believe what I was seeing.  I'm just glad Farrah was concentrating hard on her scone so she didn't notice anything going on around us.  As soon as it broke out, all the kids from the other side of the parking lot came flying over like a swarm of bees.  No regard for the cars driving, they just ran. I saw several of them almost get hit.  I'm not exaggerating when I say probably 200 kids were running across the parking lot and all I could do was keep my foot on the break and hope none of them ran into my car because the likelihood of them actually taking responsibility for any damage to my car was slim to none.  As soon as I saw a small break in the crowd I took the chance and sped through the parking lot and prayed no idiot teenager jumped in front of my car.  

Once I made it safely out of the parking lot I was kind of in shock.  Is this what teenagers are like?  While I know I was no angel in high school, there were disrespectful kids, there was even the occasional fight, I know it was nothing like what I saw.  I was smart enough to know to keep my mouth shut if I was going to get arrested (not that I ever was close to getting arrested, but you know what I mean.)  

So I started to try to come up with a solution.  Like most women, I see a problem and I want to solve it.  My first thought was, what can the school do to fix this problem?  We're so quick to blame the schools and the teachers aren't we?  But as I thought about it, there was no solution from the schools that I could think of.  How can they possibly control our children after school gets out?  How is that their responsibility?  

So I began to wonder what it was about my upbringing that made it so unfathomable to act that way, when to these kids it was just another Wednesday?  My parents didn't beat me, they only even spanked me a couple times in my entire life.  They didn't scream at me, or belittle me.  Two things stick out to me, though.  We had a healthy fear of them and they had us involved in lots of activities.  I always knew my moms "look" and I was so afraid of what would happen if I persisted past the point of getting the look so I never really tested her.  Well, ok there may have been one incident which we still talk about to this day in which I rolled my eyes and walked away from her so she followed me to my room and then sat on me to force me to listen.  We have differing views as to how this really went down.

  We played practically every sport, and I could probably have been my own marching band with all the different instruments I learned at different points in my life.  Don't ask me how to play anything now because I don't remember but they served their purpose at the time.

So while there is no "answer" to solving foolishness, I believe that whatever it is, will start in the home.  If there's anything that losing a child has taught me, it's that being a parent is an absolute privilege not to be taken lightly.  Of all the jobs we have as adults, if you have a child, it's important that we don't lose sight of that fact that being a parent is the most important.  I pray for those kids  acting crazy in the parking lot.  I pray that their parents are able to guide them to leading a productive life and not a destructive one.  I pray for myself daily.  I know that sounds strange, but knowing that I don't have all the answers, I pray that God will steer me in the right direction when it comes to being a parent.  And I pray for my sweet Farrah.  That she will never loose her confidence.  That she will always stand up for what is right.  That she won't allow bullies to tear her down.  That she will continue dancing.  That she will continue to be a good friend to all.  That she will one day be a great parent.