These past couple weeks have been interesting to say the least. I think God was trying to knock me down a peg or two because I was talking to my husband about how I finally felt like I had started to get the hang of this parenting thing. I was in a good place. My normally easily stressed out self seemed to have calmed down quite a bit. I didn't get worked up with the small stuff. We had a good routine going. All that good stuff. And with that came 2 weeks of the exact opposite. I'm going to blame it on the pregnancy hormones.... that and my proclaiming I'm an awesome parent.... God had to make sure I knew who was really in control. I don't know why it happened. I can't even really put my finger on it. Farrah has stopped napping again so I know that has a lot to do with it. That 1 1/2 hours a day that I can work, clean, or just plain veg on the couch is my sanity and allows me to gear up for the rest of the day so when I don't get that time mama gets a bit cranky.
My best friend was over the other night and we were watching the Bachelorette... side note, am I the only one that thinks this season is rather boring? Anyways, she was over and I was telling her about the craziness that was my day and my complete impatience for my poor toddler that was doing nothing other than being a toddler and because of my exhaustion I couldn't deal. She was laughing as I was telling her my story and then I started laughing when I realized the sheer ridiculousness of it all. My mental state became even more apparent while she was there and my pets were driving me crazy. My dog wouldn't stop licking the couch, even as I'm pulling him off the couch he's still licking it. My cats won't go in the garage which is where they get locked up at night so they don't wake us and the baby as they chase each other around all night. And in the midst of this craziness I look over to see my friend just cracking up. It was then I realized.... why wouldn't I be a little crazy... my life is crazy!
I know with 2 instead of 1, it's only going to get more crazy, but my hope is that my patience will grow. My parenting failures of the past 2 weeks have reminded me that I will never really have this parenting thing down. At the end of the day, I'm not perfect, my beautiful child is not perfect, my life is definitely not perfect. Sometimes I consider it a win that everyone survived the day. And while it's my goal to make memories with Farrah that she will always remember of a great childhood with a mom who was always on top of her game, I have to be ok with those days when we just survive. In the end I love her more than anything, I love my husband more today than when I married him, we're all safe, healthy and we are all
happy.
